Your Barrister Boyfriend

Brought to you by the Barrister Hottie Experts.

Barrister Hottie: Close but no Cigar Edition

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Not everyone can be super hot, but many more can be somewhat/quite/relatively hot.

So on the back of our Hottest Barristers in London 2014 men’s list, we thought we would entertain you with a few of the runners-up for our 2nd annual Hottest Barristers in London List (Men’s edition)… the ones who got away, so to speak.

Let us give you a bit of context. At 1 am on the night before publishing THE LIST, we discovered that we had 23 hotties rather than 21. This really wouldn’t do, so we had to make some agonising choices. After heated debate, we tearfully bid farewell to 2 hotties. We thought they deserved some recognition, however, so here they are, mixed in with a host of other men who made it to the final round.

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Michael Crane QC, Fountain Court

The women love him. We agree, he has a real twinkle. Check out these recommendations:

‘Talk about a real silver fox! Utterly charming, charismatic and truly mesmerising in action…such an old school gent.’

‘Michael Crane is blindingly hot and charming and essentially amazing. We are all deeply in love with him. *drifts off*.’

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Jonathan Tod, 29 Bedford Row

Another silver fox - here’s what his fans have to say:

‘You obviously haven’t seen Jonathan Tod of Bedford Row - absolutely to die for and much better in the flesh compared to his profile picture on the Internet!’

People, get your photos in order. We can’t just go on word of mouth!

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Joshua Normanton, 5 Paper Buildings

A very reliable source sent us Josh, whose kind eyes and slightly self-effacing down-frown (yep, we made that word up) almost won him a place.

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Alex Goodman, Landmark Chambers

Two separate women have written in support of Alex.

‘Hello - please find the good man Alex Goodman at Landmark Chambers,’ one writes. ‘What a fit man. I hope you agree.’

We nearly agreed.

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James Puchas, 4 Pump Court

James Purchas looks like he’s travelled in a DeLorean from the 80s. He’s hot, in a Blue Steel sort of way. 

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Carl Brewin, 3 Paper Buildings

Again, two separate women have got behind Carl. One writes: ‘Dark, brooding, grumpy in the mornings!’ Has she had some first hand experience? His picture looks like a cheesy publicity shot for a modern retelling of La Boheme put on by an ambitious yet minor opera company. Still, we’d probably date him. 

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Jonathan Williams, Bettoseraglini

Jon was recommended by a fan who writes, ‘The attached picture should be sufficient to explain why he belong on the list. Tall, blond, slim, perfect features, etc.’ 

Etc.? Come now, put some effort into those descriptions. He’s cute, but we might need some more proof. Candids and shirtless pics, s’il vous plaît.

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Ben Smitten, 25 Bedford Row

We were almost smitten with this cutie, who looks like a goofy (but loveable) Australian cricketer. 

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Nicholas Anderson, 1KBW

We are slightly perturbed by the fact that Nick is listed online under the heading ‘Children Barristers’ (Google his name). Hm. More importantly, he comes highly recommended by a tipster who says: ‘My own personal favourite is Nicholas Anderson… mainly after seeing him squirm when a client was quite forcefully trying to proposition him and follow him back to his car after a court hearing. (He had been trying to put the case forward that she wasn’t a prostitute despite allegations by the husband.) He handled it extremely well. It’s just a shame he is married to someone else in chambers!’

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Imran Benson, Hailsham Chambers

His doe-eyed beauty caught our attention. He looks a bit like a deer in the headlights, but a serious and refined deer. 

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Matthew Finn, Keating Chambers

We chanced upon this golden youth and noted that he got a first at Cambridge and is fluent in ‘conversational’ French, as well as dabbling in Italian and German. Clearly très sophisticated. But is he tall?

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Paul Bury, Keating Chambers

Paul looks like a hipster hottie whose jelled his hair into a bit of a faux-hawk. Sure, he’s a barrister, but we imagine he also likes to frequent the Bethnal Green Working Man’s Club and go on holiday to former Soviet Bloc cities with his band of male comrades. He may occasionally go out with a woman, but she must be quietly cool and not make a loud show of herself like certain nameless American girls. We know his type. We know it well. 

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Sam Blom-Cooper, 25 Bedford Row

And finally, one of our favourites. Sam looks rather like Andy Samberg, the hot former SNL cast member most famous for his sketch ‘Dick in a Box’ with Justin Timberklake. There is something trustworthy, steadfast and dependable about Sam who, with his reassuringly nerdy glasses, seems like he would be good snuggler and devoted boyfriend. The blog *is* called Your Barrister Boyfriend, after all.

Follow Your Barrister Boyfriend on Facebook and Twitter. As always, feel free to email us anonymously at barristerhotties[at]gmail.com! 

Marianne Butler in the Evening Standard!

As a follow-on from our earlier post, we’re delighted to say that the lovely Marianne Butler is featured in the Evening Standard today. Please do donate to this great cause - Le Cure de France. And George & Amal, if you’re reading, chip in too!

Love,

The BHEs

A Very Special Barrister Hottie Announcement

Marianne Butler

Hello everyone, we know that you usually expect nothing but sheer frivolity and/ or irreverence from us, but on this occasion we would like to share something a bit more serious with you.

Last year we grew very fond of Fountain Court’s Marianne Butler who was no. 2 on our Hottest Female Barristers in London list 2013. We were instantly drawn to her sparky personality and witty email banter, and found ourselves cracking up every time we corresponded with her. We could tell right away that Marianne was a very special person.

Life, however, doesn’t seem to have much rhyme or reason. Nor does it reward people equally. It is certainly ironic that while no. 1 Amal’s year went on a stellar upwards trajectory, being romanced and then affianced to the world’s biggest movie star, Marianne had a somewhat different post-hottie list outcome.

On the 26th of September, she was diagnosed with grade III breast cancer, with no warning, and no family history of the disease. The situation was so grave, her doctor ordered her to start chemotherapy the following Monday (the 30th). Funnily enough, Marianne was poised to begin a big case with another barrister hottie, the legendary Derrick Dale. But once the diagnosis came in, there was only one thing to think about — getting better.

Your Barrister Hottie Experts heard about Marianne’s condition in December 2013 and got in touch. Marianne responded with an ever-hilarious note, saying that she was ‘bald as a worm’ from chemo. Naturally we were shocked, saddened, and just plain pissed off that fate could deal such an unfair blow to this wonderful person.

In May 2014, Marianne wrote saying the cancer had buggered off for now, though she was still undergoing treatment. ‘There is nothing like being bald to feel like a supermodel when eyelashes return,’ she wrote, always able to draw on her humour even at the worst of times.

Up until now, we have been able to do precious little for Marianne, except admire her incredible spirit, and regret not putting her at the top of our hottie list 2013. Now, however, we have the chance to do something for Marianne.

Her cancer was vanquished in part by two drugs she received while under the care of Professor Ian Smith (future doctor hottie?) at the Royal Marsden Hospital and its cancer Research Fund. This was the first time these two drugs had been used for a front-line treatment at the hospital. They worked to stop the cancer cells from communicating with other cells in the body, basically holding the tumor down while the chemo and Marianne’s immune system kicked its ass.

Marianne having chemotherapy treatment.

To raise money for the Research Fund that offered Marianne this pioneering treatment, a group of 25 of her friends and family are riding their bikes up the Tour De France’s most intimidating climbs from September 10-14. It’s called Le Cure De France, which you must admit is charming. They may not be fit, they may not be agile, but they are doing it for Marianne, and all the other women who may be affected by this awful disease.

Unless you are a stone cold bastard, you must be moved by this story and want to give some money to help. You can learn more about the project on the Le Cure De France website, and donate here.

We really hope you will help out!!

The 21 Hottest Barristers in London 2014 

We’re back! It is with great excitement that we present the 21 Hottest Barristers in London 2014: Male Edition.

We’ve taken your many, many recommendations into account, and balanced word of mouth praise with the harsh reality of some of the chambers pictures. This is obviously not an exact science but we feel confident that our 2014 list is the hottest yet. Enjoy!!!!!

Love,

Sonia and Natalia xxx

Follow Your Barrister Boyfriend on Facebook and Twitter. As always, feel free to email us anonymously at barristerhotties[at]gmail.com!

1) Nicholas Wilkinson, 1 Hare Court

Introducing Nick Wilkinson, our hottest barrister of 2014!! This young family law buck has unseated our 2013 champion Patrick Hennessey. Yes ladies and gentlemen, we have thrown aside GI Joe and picked up a Ken doll. (Wilkinson is blond despite appearances.) So what can we say about our chosen charmer besides the fact that he is mouth-wateringly gorgeous and was clever enough to take a profile picture that captured (and perhaps even enhanced) his god-given assets? His mum, as you probably all know, is Lady Justice Hallet. Nick deals in high net worth divorces, and his most recent case, according to his chambers page, is the ironically titled Joy v. Joy. We also know that through no effort (or fault) of his own, Nick has won the genetic and socioeconomic lottery. He lives a life of glamour, tripping from rugby match to Caribbean bliss, a clutch of rangy blondes always at his heels.
Does the lifestyle ever lose its gloss? Does he ever get bored with helicopter skiing, yachting and donning black tie? The answer is probably no, and neither would we, especially if we got to gaze at Nick the whole time.

1) Nicholas Wilkinson, 1 Hare Court

Introducing Nick Wilkinson, our hottest barrister of 2014!! This young family law buck has unseated our 2013 champion Patrick Hennessey. Yes ladies and gentlemen, we have thrown aside GI Joe and picked up a Ken doll. (Wilkinson is blond despite appearances.) So what can we say about our chosen charmer besides the fact that he is mouth-wateringly gorgeous and was clever enough to take a profile picture that captured (and perhaps even enhanced) his god-given assets? His mum, as you probably all know, is Lady Justice Hallet. Nick deals in high net worth divorces, and his most recent case, according to his chambers page, is the ironically titled Joy v. Joy. We also know that through no effort (or fault) of his own, Nick has won the genetic and socioeconomic lottery. He lives a life of glamour, tripping from rugby match to Caribbean bliss, a clutch of rangy blondes always at his heels. Does the lifestyle ever lose its gloss? Does he ever get bored with helicopter skiing, yachting and donning black tie? The answer is probably no, and neither would we, especially if we got to gaze at Nick the whole time.

2) Tunde Okewale, Doughty Street Chambers

We like Tunde because 1) he’s hot, 2) he’s not afraid to interact with us on Twitter. Whilst some barristers remain aloof from The List, Tunde is man enough to show he’s amused (we featured him a while ago in our ground-breaking exposé Inside the Doughty Street Dreamboat).

Perhaps that’s because Tunde has some perspective - he grew up in Hackney and even worked at a Sainsbury’s. That’s right, while most of his gap yah contemporaries were planning which third world country they’d be chundering in for the next nine months, Tunde was stocking shelves. 

His awesomeness doesn’t stop there - he also works with charities, including his own Urban Lawyer, to help give hard-up kids some positive role models. Personally, we think that’s a whole lot more impressive than what most successful people do, namely tossing some inconsequential dosh at the poors from the safety of a black tie gala.

2) Tunde Okewale, Doughty Street Chambers

We like Tunde because 1) he’s hot, 2) he’s not afraid to interact with us on Twitter. Whilst some barristers remain aloof from The List, Tunde is man enough to show he’s amused (we featured him a while ago in our ground-breaking exposé Inside the Doughty Street Dreamboat).

Perhaps that’s because Tunde has some perspective - he grew up in Hackney and even worked at a Sainsbury’s. That’s right, while most of his gap yah contemporaries were planning which third world country they’d be chundering in for the next nine months, Tunde was stocking shelves.

His awesomeness doesn’t stop there - he also works with charities, including his own Urban Lawyer, to help give hard-up kids some positive role models. Personally, we think that’s a whole lot more impressive than what most successful people do, namely tossing some inconsequential dosh at the poors from the safety of a black tie gala.

3) George Davies, Temple Garden Chambers

We were sent this sexy man by a source who wrote, ‘C’mon ladies, no hottie list is remotely complete without including George Davies.’ Imagine our surprise, then, when our usually savvy readers failed to crown George (who, in our opinion, was the obvious choice) winner of our Mr Darcy competition. But since we are the official Hottie Experts, with first-class degrees in Superficiology, we are making the executive decision to slap Gorgeous George right back onto the 2014 list. We already praised G-Dav for being ‘refined, twinkly and self-deprecating’ and for hiding his posh bonifides in the recesses of his online CV (unusually, it takes several clicks to spot his OE status). We are now left with one pressing but ever-important question: is he tall? Oh yes, and we almost forgot… Is he single?

3) George Davies, Temple Garden Chambers

We were sent this sexy man by a source who wrote, ‘C’mon ladies, no hottie list is remotely complete without including George Davies.’ Imagine our surprise, then, when our usually savvy readers failed to crown George (who, in our opinion, was the obvious choice) winner of our Mr Darcy competition. But since we are the official Hottie Experts, with first-class degrees in Superficiology, we are making the executive decision to slap Gorgeous George right back onto the 2014 list. We already praised G-Dav for being ‘refined, twinkly and self-deprecating’ and for hiding his posh bonifides in the recesses of his online CV (unusually, it takes several clicks to spot his OE status). We are now left with one pressing but ever-important question: is he tall? Oh yes, and we almost forgot… Is he single?

4) Patrick Hennessey, 39 Essex Street

Dear Patrick, we’re sorry to have demoted you to number 4, but you can’t stay on top forever! It’s good to change position now and then and spread the love around. Besides, we bet you’ve been basking in the glory of last year’s triumph, most likely feigning embarrassment and humility when the subject is brought up, while secretly thanking your lucky stars that the Barrister Hottie Experts moved to the UK and found their chosen metier. In an ideal world, you would have set us up with some of your single friends (if you have any) in recompense. But nobody is perfect. And since we can’t deny your hotness, and since hotness is the purpose of the blog, let us take a moment of silence to celebrate your beauty. Has 39 Essex Street seen an uptick in the number of female pupilage applicants since our list came out? We bet it has.

4) Patrick Hennessey, 39 Essex Street

Dear Patrick, we’re sorry to have demoted you to number 4, but you can’t stay on top forever! It’s good to change position now and then and spread the love around. Besides, we bet you’ve been basking in the glory of last year’s triumph, most likely feigning embarrassment and humility when the subject is brought up, while secretly thanking your lucky stars that the Barrister Hottie Experts moved to the UK and found their chosen metier. In an ideal world, you would have set us up with some of your single friends (if you have any) in recompense. But nobody is perfect. And since we can’t deny your hotness, and since hotness is the purpose of the blog, let us take a moment of silence to celebrate your beauty. Has 39 Essex Street seen an uptick in the number of female pupilage applicants since our list came out? We bet it has.

5) Benjamin Faulkner, Wilberforce Chambers

You know how back in the ’90s they used to call Elle Macpherson ‘The Body’? Well, the hottie experts are going to borrow that epithet for Mr. Faulkner. Little did we know, when we first stumbled across his chambers profile, that the boyish specimen before us was in fact a rippling muscle god. We put him on the ‘maybe’ pile, and then forgot about him all together, until a tipster encouraged us to have a second look. All it took was one glance at his Facebook profile to realise we had struck gold. Man gold. Yes, as we have discussed before, Benji likes to get his body out. And why not? If we were men and looked like Benji, we would walk around in a speedo all day long. In case you’re wondering, he’s also a charming person. At least on email, where he politely asked us to limit the number of body shots we put on the blog. FINE, we said. We’ll put just one picture of your brawny torso up. We know you’re all disappointed, but we’ve got to respect his privacy, you know?

5) Benjamin Faulkner, Wilberforce Chambers

You know how back in the ’90s they used to call Elle Macpherson ‘The Body’? Well, the hottie experts are going to borrow that epithet for Mr. Faulkner. Little did we know, when we first stumbled across his chambers profile, that the boyish specimen before us was in fact a rippling muscle god. We put him on the ‘maybe’ pile, and then forgot about him all together, until a tipster encouraged us to have a second look. All it took was one glance at his Facebook profile to realise we had struck gold. Man gold. Yes, as we have discussed before, Benji likes to get his body out. And why not? If we were men and looked like Benji, we would walk around in a speedo all day long. In case you’re wondering, he’s also a charming person. At least on email, where he politely asked us to limit the number of body shots we put on the blog. FINE, we said. We’ll put just one picture of your brawny torso up. We know you’re all disappointed, but we’ve got to respect his privacy, you know?

6) Robert McAllister, 9 Gough Square

Robert looks like he’s just stepped out of a time capsule from the 1970s with a George Best haircut and, hopefully, the footballer’s short shorts to match. We imagine snuggling with him by candlelight during the 1972 miners’ strike and complaining about inflation while living in a very cheap flat in north Kensington. With Robert we have found ourselves another Oxford boy, this time it’s Saint Peter’s College. As he is roughly in his mid-thirties, and as all these barristers are such terrible squares who rush to the altar like lemmings at 27, it is very unlikely that Robert is still eligible. But if by some miracle Robert hasn’t yet been scooped up by leggy, assiduous blonde, we call first dibs.

6) Robert McAllister, 9 Gough Square

Robert looks like he’s just stepped out of a time capsule from the 1970s with a George Best haircut and, hopefully, the footballer’s short shorts to match. We imagine snuggling with him by candlelight during the 1972 miners’ strike and complaining about inflation while living in a very cheap flat in north Kensington. With Robert we have found ourselves another Oxford boy, this time it’s Saint Peter’s College. As he is roughly in his mid-thirties, and as all these barristers are such terrible squares who rush to the altar like lemmings at 27, it is very unlikely that Robert is still eligible. But if by some miracle Robert hasn’t yet been scooped up by leggy, assiduous blonde, we call first dibs.