We’re back! It is with great excitement that we present the 21 Hottest Barristers in London 2014: Male Edition.
We’ve taken your many, many recommendations into account, and balanced word of mouth praise with the harsh reality of some of the chambers pictures. This is obviously not an exact science but we feel confident that our 2014 list is the hottest yet. Enjoy!!!!!
Sonia and Natalia xxx
Follow Your Barrister Boyfriend on Facebook and Twitter. As always, feel free to email us anonymously at barristerhotties[at]gmail.com!
1) Nicholas Wilkinson, 1 Hare Court
Introducing Nick Wilkinson, our hottest barrister of 2014!! This young family law buck has unseated our 2013 champion Patrick Hennessey. Yes ladies and gentlemen, we have thrown aside GI Joe and picked up a Ken doll. (Wilkinson is blond despite appearances.) So what can we say about our chosen charmer besides the fact that he is mouth-wateringly gorgeous and was clever enough to take a profile picture that captured (and perhaps even enhanced) his god-given assets? His mum, as you probably all know, is Lady Justice Hallet. Nick deals in high net worth divorces, and his most recent case, according to his chambers page, is the ironically titled Joy v. Joy. We also know that through no effort (or fault) of his own, Nick has won the genetic and socioeconomic lottery. He lives a life of glamour, tripping from rugby match to Caribbean bliss, a clutch of rangy blondes always at his heels.
Does the lifestyle ever lose its gloss? Does he ever get bored with helicopter skiing, yachting and donning black tie? The answer is probably no, and neither would we, especially if we got to gaze at Nick the whole time.
2) Tunde Okewale, Doughty Street Chambers
We like Tunde because 1) he’s hot, 2) he’s not afraid to interact with us on Twitter. Whilst some barristers remain aloof from The List, Tunde is man enough to show he’s amused (we featured him a while ago in our ground-breaking exposé Inside the Doughty Street Dreamboat).
Perhaps that’s because Tunde has some perspective - he grew up in Hackney and even worked at a Sainsbury’s. That’s right, while most of his gap yah contemporaries were planning which third world country they’d be chundering in for the next nine months, Tunde was stocking shelves.
His awesomeness doesn’t stop there - he also works with charities, including his own Urban Lawyer, to help give hard-up kids some positive role models. Personally, we think that’s a whole lot more impressive than what most successful people do, namely tossing some inconsequential dosh at the poors from the safety of a black tie gala.
3) George Davies, Temple Garden Chambers
We were sent this sexy man by a source who wrote, ‘C’mon ladies, no hottie list is remotely complete without including George Davies.’ Imagine our surprise, then, when our usually savvy readers failed to crown George (who, in our opinion, was the obvious choice) winner of our Mr Darcy competition. But since we are the official Hottie Experts, with first-class degrees in Superficiology, we are making the executive decision to slap Gorgeous George right back onto the 2014 list. We already praised G-Dav for being ‘refined, twinkly and self-deprecating’ and for hiding his posh bonifides in the recesses of his online CV (unusually, it takes several clicks to spot his OE status). We are now left with one pressing but ever-important question: is he tall? Oh yes, and we almost forgot… Is he single?
4) Patrick Hennessey, 39 Essex Street
Dear Patrick, we’re sorry to have demoted you to number 4, but you can’t stay on top forever! It’s good to change position now and then and spread the love around. Besides, we bet you’ve been basking in the glory of last year’s triumph, most likely feigning embarrassment and humility when the subject is brought up, while secretly thanking your lucky stars that the Barrister Hottie Experts moved to the UK and found their chosen metier. In an ideal world, you would have set us up with some of your single friends (if you have any) in recompense. But nobody is perfect. And since we can’t deny your hotness, and since hotness is the purpose of the blog, let us take a moment of silence to celebrate your beauty. Has 39 Essex Street seen an uptick in the number of female pupilage applicants since our list came out? We bet it has.
5) Benjamin Faulkner, Wilberforce Chambers
You know how back in the ’90s they used to call Elle Macpherson ‘The Body’? Well, the hottie experts are going to borrow that epithet for Mr. Faulkner. Little did we know, when we first stumbled across his chambers profile, that the boyish specimen before us was in fact a rippling muscle god. We put him on the ‘maybe’ pile, and then forgot about him all together, until a tipster encouraged us to have a second look. All it took was one glance at his Facebook profile to realise we had struck gold. Man gold. Yes, as we have discussed before, Benji likes to get his body out. And why not? If we were men and looked like Benji, we would walk around in a speedo all day long. In case you’re wondering, he’s also a charming person. At least on email, where he politely asked us to limit the number of body shots we put on the blog. FINE, we said. We’ll put just one picture of your brawny torso up. We know you’re all disappointed, but we’ve got to respect his privacy, you know?
6) Robert McAllister, 9 Gough Square
Robert looks like he’s just stepped out of a time capsule from the 1970s with a George Best haircut and, hopefully, the footballer’s short shorts to match. We imagine snuggling with him by candlelight during the 1972 miners’ strike and complaining about inflation while living in a very cheap flat in north Kensington. With Robert we have found ourselves another Oxford boy, this time it’s Saint Peter’s College. As he is roughly in his mid-thirties, and as all these barristers are such terrible squares who rush to the altar like lemmings at 27, it is very unlikely that Robert is still eligible. But if by some miracle Robert hasn’t yet been scooped up by leggy, assiduous blonde, we call first dibs.
7) Andrew Wille, Farrar’s Building
Andrew has the kind of intensely focused gaze that a woman would like directed at her and her alone. He might take her to a quiet corner of Little House where they would drink champagne and pretend to make conversation. Suddenly, he turns to her, draws his finger along her clavicle and whispers: ‘Darling, you are so damn sexy that I won’t be able to think anything else until I take you home and…’ Sorry, getting carried away there, but you must admit that Andrew looks a bit more experienced than some of the other fresh-faced youths on our list. Is it the slightly longer hair, the faint trace of stubble, the devil-may-care expression?
Andrew comes to us via a tipster, who says that he is ‘a) single b) looks great in cricket whites c) plays well too d) is quite an expert on architectural history’. Yes, we can definitely work with this, though perhaps listing ‘theatre, cricket, tennis and wine-tasting’ as interests on your chambers profile is a little bit gauche. Surely you should save those upper-class signifiers for a more suitable arena, like a drink with us…
8) James Williams, Henderson Chambers
Looking out at us with his limpid blue eyes, James Williams seems a kindly soul with the right combination of strength and sensitivity. He is neat and well-groomed with his closely cropped hair, fresh skin and nerdy graph paper shirt. James went to Cambridge and Winchester, so we’d expect a certain level of public school aplomb, but all this has been achieved without a whiff of priggery, which is obviously no easy feat. We like to think that James is a romantic at heart, an outdoorsy lad with a fondness for roaming the hills and dales. We were concerned, however, to note that he voluntarily wrote an essay about Health & Safety recently for some competition. At least he won, although we do wonder exactly how many people would have bothered to enter.
9) Henry Ward, 8 New Square
Henry came to our attention when he wrote to us, objecting to the fact that his wife was not on the Female Hottie List 2013. “To use the vernacular, ‘Are you having a laugh?’” he protested. We liked this gallant gent after reading his email, and we liked him even more when we looked up his chambers profile. All we can say is hot, hot, HOT! Henry is classically handsome, and has achieved the difficult balance of looking serious without severe. Enough with the constipated profile pics, guys. Learn from Henry, whose slight smile and sexy gaze make us wish he weren’t married. And we’re definitely not having a laugh about that!